11 January 2010

Early Morning Insomnia

I just   cant be dealing with the same cycle.
Dammit its 2010  and they expect me to just go on repeat like a broken record.
I feel like I should have left a long time ago.
You see the funny thing is,people  are always quick to to tell you don't do this and don't do that.

And when you do take their advice and decided not to chase after your dreams or passions.
What can you do?Just sit there.Take heed to what they say and just be motionless.
Yeah ok.I take your advice and just sit on my ass.And then you say to them what do I do now?
And their answer is" I don't know"?But when you do come up with your own plans or goals.It's never a good idea to them.

People will always have their own opinions and If a person bases their life on what other people think,then that person is  pretty much on merry-go round, but take out the merry.You wont be happy,you'll feel confused and you feel. unaccomplished .
Life is what you make of it.What I'm saying is I cant just change my mind about doing something just because ,someone is worried that I wont succeed.That's the poison ,that's bringing the danger  closer to me then I could have been close to it.Negative Thoughts.For the people I love dearly,I know they care but sometimes what they think they know whats best for me is not.You never wanted me to leave to go to London,you never wanted me to leave to go to Canada.You never wanted me to leave to New York.Well..I'm Leaving.Fear can be the biggest enemy.Fear of the unknown

Right now,I feel like I could be crying.But I cant ,because the G.I. Jane  side of me is saying"Suck it Up".
I just look back on these past few months ,and I tell myself don't look at them as a waste ,look at it as an experience and lesson.You live and You learn.

One thing I know ,I know I have to leave.10 yrs I have been in the same atmosphere.I gotta breathe new air.Its stifling here ,its stale.

If you don't try something out You will never know the experience.